there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
