Can Purell be used as lube?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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