My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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