Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
