the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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