do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize