I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
