I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
