If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
