i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
