and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
