He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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