well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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