I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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