My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
