Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
