remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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