while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize