So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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