You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
