I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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