.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
