stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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