I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
