I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
