Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
