In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
