do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
