Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
her vagine was all disorganized.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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