I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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