What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
