you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
