i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
