Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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