I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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