found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
