What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just invented taco cereal.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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