Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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