Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
