it hurts more in the daytime
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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