Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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