Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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