she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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