Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
