stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
