Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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