...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
