did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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