In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
