I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My dick has a subreddit
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize