Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
